5 Movies, TV Shows, and Books That Help Raise Awareness About Domestic Violence

Can media portrayals of domestic violence in books, TV shows, and movies raise awareness about what domestic violence is and isn’t?

On average, 20 people per minute experience physical abuse from an intimate partner in the United States, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).

Raising awareness is important, because while sometimes domestic violence can be quite blatant, it’s often difficult to recognize — both by the person being abused and others around them. Domestic violence can have very serious consequences, including mental health issues, physical injury, and death, as a good deal of research attests.

When done right, media portrayals “can bring awareness to the ways that [domestic violence] can show up that may be more covert or subtle to both victims and those outside the relationship,” says Laura Pisani, a licensed professional counselor in private practice in North Haven, Connecticut, who works with survivors of trauma.

But not all media is created equal. How domestic violence is portrayed is vital, says Pisani.

Colleen Hoover’s romance novel It Ends With Us, which, Hoover announced in January, will be adapted into a movie starring Blake Lively, has gotten people talking about what counts as a helpful — or harmful — media portrayal of domestic violence. Although popular, the book has been criticized for the way it depicts abuse.

What Does a Sensitive Portrayal of Domestic Violence Look Like?

“Sensitive portrayals would be those that bring awareness to the nuances of [domestic violence], such as how emotional, verbal, and financial abuse can present in a [domestic violence] relationship aside from just physical violence,” Pisani says.

Responsible approaches also depict victims and survivors of domestic violence from diverse backgrounds, says Melissa Zawisza, a licensed clinical social worker in private practice in Arlington, Texas, who works with survivors of domestic violence.

Media guidelines from the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) back this up. According to the NNEDV, responsible representations of domestic violence acknowledge the systems of racism, misogyny, and structural inequality that allow domestic violence to be continually tolerated and victims to be frequently doubted and silenced.

But while responsible depictions of domestic violence might help survivors realize they’re experiencing abuse and get help, inaccurate representations can be both invalidating and harmful.

For instance, statements made about the perpetrator by people outside the relationship who may not be aware of the complex ways domestic violence manifests can cast doubt on a survivor’s story and minimize the violence, according to the NNEDV. These may be statements from coworkers, neighbors, or others who were not firsthand witnesses to episodes of abuse, such as, “He was never a mean coworker” or “I never heard anything,” NNEDV experts note.

Although these guidelines are intended for journalists covering real stories of domestic violence, they’re important for fictional depictions, too. “I believe that fictional portrayals of domestic violence that follow media guidelines, such as those suggested by the NNEDV, are much more likely to be accurate in depicting the experiences of survivors,” says Pisani.

A lack of representation is harmful, too, says Brenda Fahn, a marriage and family therapist in private practice in Boulder, Colorado, who provides domestic violence counseling.

For instance, Fahn says, there’s often a lack of male survivors of domestic violence depicted in movies, TV, and books. “Men are [often] embarrassed or ashamed to report domestic violence,” she says. Data shows, however, that approximately one in nine men experience severe intimate partner violence, according to the NCADV.

Here are five media portrayals of domestic violence that do the issue justice, according to Pisani, Fahn, and Zawisza.

1. ‘Maid’

In her book, Maid (2019) — which was adapted into a 2021 Netflix series — author Stephanie Land aimed to shine a light on the stories of America’s working poor. To support her daughter after leaving an abusive relationship, Land worked as a maid while living in poverty and navigating complicated government assistance programs.

“Maid does an excellent job of depicting the difficulties of leaving a domestic violence relationship, and accurately represents the power and control wheel,” Pisani says.

An inability to support yourself financially can make it difficult to leave an abusive relationship, especially if you have children. Low income is a risk factor for intimate partner violence, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Land spoke out about the stigma that single moms leaving abusive relationships face in an interview with the Washington Post published in 2021. “[Some people think] that somehow their bad decisions got them in the place that they are,” said Land, adding that the experience of trying to overcome poverty after leaving an abusive relationship was “traumatic.”

“Maid” (book), Amazon.com

“Maid” (TV series), Netflix

2. ‘Brothers’

In the 2009 film Brothers, children witness their father, Sam Cahill (Tobey Maguire), abuse their mother, Grace Cahill (Natalie Portman). Sam has just returned from Afghanistan after initially being presumed dead in a helicopter attack, and has severe post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from his experiences at war.

“His little daughter peeks out and sees this,” Fahn says of a scene in which Sam breaks objects in the kitchen during a fight with Grace. Not only could this be domestic violence — aggression and intimidation — but depending on the state, it could also be reported as child abuse because the child witnessed the violence. Certain states have laws that consider child exposure to domestic violence a type of mistreatment that requires intervention from the state, according to research published in the December 2018 issue of Child Abuse & Neglect.

Even if an abuse perpetrator’s main target is a romantic partner, children may be exposed to that violence and develop trauma as a result. Children who witness domestic violence or experience abuse themselves have a significantly increased risk of mental and physical health problems in the long term, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office on Women’s Health.

“Brothers,” Hulu

3. ‘I, Tonya’

When someone hears the name Tonya Harding, her ex-husband’s role in hiring an assailant to attack her figure skating rival Nancy Kerrigan before the 1994 Winter Olympics often overrides any thought of Harding’s own accomplishments in the sport. The 2017 film I, Tonya peels back the layers of Harding’s life and shows how she, too, was a victim of her ex-husband’s abusive behavior.

Before experiencing intimate partner violence from her husband, Harding also experienced violence at the hands of her mother, as was portrayed in the movie and as Harding has spoken out about previously.

“I, Tonya, very rawly shows us the ways that domestic violence can look between family members, and ties in the all-too-common experience of survivors leaving one abusive relationship and falling right into another, as Tonya struggles in her relationship with her mother and later enters an abusive marriage,” says Pisani.

Victims of domestic violence have an increased risk of future violent relationships, often because they may believe they’re powerless to control violent behavior or change their situation, according to experts at McLean Hospital, a psychiatric hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts.

“I, Tonya,” Amazon Prime

4. ‘Greenleaf’

Domestic violence can affect romantic relationships between teenagers, too. In 2019, approximately 1 in 12 U.S. high school students reported experiencing physical dating violence, according to the CDC.

In the final episode of season 2 of the TV series Greenleaf, released in 2017, a teenage couple named Zora (Lovie Simone) and Isaiah (Roshon Fegan) attend a cotillion together. Isaiah’s abuse of Zora becomes public at the cotillion when Zora and Isaiah get into an argument. Isaiah walks out, and Zora follows him and confronts him. Isaiah grabs and slaps Zora.

“It shows how quickly a fight can go from feeling hurt or upset to escalating into a physical altercation,” says Fahn.

“Greenleaf,” Amazon Prime

5. ‘Big Little Lies’

People who live seemingly perfect lives — like the wealthy retired lawyer Celeste Wright (Nicole Kidman) in Big Little Lies (2017) — can be victims of domestic violence, too.

Although Celeste’s marriage to her husband, Perry Wright (Alexander Skarsgård), appears happy to people around them, Perry is privately physically abusive to Celeste. Spoiler alert: Perry’s abuse eventually becomes public after Celeste decides to leave him, and a fight escalates into a public beating of Celeste in front of their friends. The group tries to stop Perry, and one of them pushes him down a staircase, killing him.

After Perry dies, Celeste grieves his loss, even though he’d repeatedly abused her. This accurately shows how survivors can have complicated relationships with people who’ve abused them, says Zawisza.

Victims of abuse may stay in the relationship for a variety of reasons, such as feeling that the relationship is a mix of good times and bad times, lacking financial means to support themselves, and fear they’ll lose custody of their children, according to the NCADV.

“[Big Little Lies] depicted domestic violence accurately, from the types of abuse, how the perpetrator acted toward their children, how the wife hid it … and the emotional impact on her and her children,” says Zawisza.

“Big Little Lies,” HBO Max